Today's prompt was to write a "never again" poem. Thanks to the PAD community for your critique/comments. :)

there was a time

before today,

when i couldnt see 

the shape of you 

without the shadow 

of me 

lagging behind, 

with a hopeful heart ...

yet, eagerly awaiting

the sun’s departure.

who am i kidding?

you crave an audience

someone who falls for

your false sense of self

the one you make up as you go.

just a fool following a fool.

but never again,

will I look toward you

for light.

for anything.

Yesterday's poetry prompt from Writer's Digest was to write a poem about "time" and make that time the title of your poem .... this is what i came up with:

3:39 a.m.

and i want to go back,

back to the dream

that gave me answers,

answers to the questions,

questions the conscious

mind cant quite 

comprehend.

and i want to go back

just to make sure ...

just to make sure

i know how to proceed

in this new life ahead.

and i want to go back

one last time

so ill remember,

remember that nothing 

changes when we go back ...

when we go back ...

Today's prompt is "WHAT IF"

what if the stars were on the ground

would you still look up when feeling down?

what if the ocean was a shade of pink

would you still go to the shore to have a think?

and if suddenly your clothes were to disappear

would you cover your body with a cardboard sphere?

if everyone you knew moved far away

would you follow along or be OK?

if night turned to day and day to night

would you let it be or put up a fight?

and if you could have each and every desire

would you take it all or feel like a liar?

Well, a little hiatus from this thing. Been in the Sunshine State with some family and Blogging just wasn't on my mind (imagine). :) Anyway, it's National Poetry Month! I look forward to this each year. For those who aren't familiar: writersdigest.com gives a prompt a day and you simply poem away. Well, sometimes there isn't anything simple about it. But, it's a fun way to share your work, get some critique from fellow writers and have something to look forward to as your fire up the laptop each morning. I'll be posting a few of mine. Yesterday's prompt was "Don't (blank), (blank)" of course, filling the blanks with words/phrase. Here was my attempt:

Don't think, be

i used to scribble scenes

sideways along lined paper

thinking my brain would 

work better if it weren’t 

writing like everyone else

i tried twirling twizzlers 

in the air as i stared at

a blank screen

hoping to conjure the

courage to tell my story.

then it hit me:

rather than seeking a 

state of mind 

just free the mind

and simply

Be.

Lexism of the Day: Waking up from her nap and saying "Mama where are you?" over and over

OMG Moment:  trying to REALLY shop with an 18-month-old and a 10-year-old. not much gets accomplished. 

Current Craving:  i crave not to crave crap food

Try this:  write a list of all the things you'd do differently in your life at this moment ... and do them (or at least try to)

Read this: Dont have time or forget to watch the show? Read Oprah magazine. Love it. (Lexi loves Oprah-no joke)

Exercise this: tonight i was reminded how much i despise the treadmill. then i remembered how much i love to dance and hopped off to do that instead. behind closed doors with music loud :) try it.

Avoid this: Girl Scout Cookies (not because they're bad, obviously, but because before you know it, an entire box of Samoa's --or whatever they call 'em now-- has disappeared) 

Quote/lyric that fits the day: 

"photo" is from an awesome site i ran across:  

http://vi.sualize.us/

I admire people who can accept things as they are and go about their day-to-day life.  But, sometimes I wonder ... when people get caught up in this routine, do they lose sight of what they truly want out of life? Does change become something that is feared rather than welcomed? I often wonder which side of the spectrum works out best ... is it better to play it safe and go with what you know or to take chances and saunter into a new realm? I used to fall on the get-up-and-go side of that  ... there wasn’t an adventure that I said no to. But, at some point ... every free spirit  must be somewhat tamed. My life, now, is more routine than it has ever been and I actually didn’t even notice until recently ... I suppose it’s a lot easier to be transformed by a darling little girl than a 9-5 desk job. So ... I’ve been the cant-sit-still girl and the must-sit-still girl, and there are certainly things that I enjoy about both ... but I think the only thing that will ever be routine about my life is that there is no routine. Of course, I change diapers regularly, feed and put Lexi down for naps at pretty much the same time each day, etc. But outside of the Mom stuff, I don’t want everything to be tick-tock. That doesn’t mean I’m not ambitious or lack motivation, in fact, I think it’s just the opposite. I have so much I want to do, learn, see and gain from my life that it just doesn’t make sense to pick one. Do I lack focus at times, sure ... do I daydream too much ... some may call it that (the blog title is making more and more sense, now, right?) ... but all in all, I don’t want to ever settle in the sense that I do something just do to it ... just to fill the hours in my precious day. That’s not me. Is that you? It’s fine if it is ... everyone is different and that’s what I love about this world ... but again, I just worry that people get too caught up in the day-to-day grind and forget about other important stuff. So revisit your hopes and dreams and aspirations ... perhaps there is some wiggle room in your day?




Lexism of the Day: lexi trying to lift things she considered "heavy" and grunting like a meathead throwing up giant dumbbells at the gym

OMG Moment:  Lexi up at 5 a.m. blabbing and laughing ... when she finally falls back to sleep at 6 she snores for 50 minutes then is up for good. NOOOOO. i liked her better when she slept in til 8 all last week

Current Craving: lounging with my besties who live too far away

Try this: paperbackswap.com (a site where you can swap books with other members for free- well, minus the $2-3 shipping, of course) 

Read this:  Got a picky eater one your hands? Pick up "Deceptively Delicious" by Jessica Seinfeld 

Exercise this: lose the thigh jiggle

Avoid this:  sending a mean/negative/spiteful text/email to someone you think deserves one. let karma/fate/etc run its course instead.

Quote/lyric that fits the day: ... What is the purpose of my life If it doesn’t have to do With learning to let it go ... - Jack Johnson (Go On)

Lexism of the Day: her saying "Happy" and then pointing to herself and saying "me" (and laughing, because she is, indeed happy)

OMG Moment:  hearing that my 84-year-old grandmother recently had a Physician's Assistant tell her she was "out of time" and couldnt ask the questions she wanted to ask at a recent doc's visit. WHAT?!?

Current Craving: California rolls

Try this:  Complimenting a stranger 

Read this:  The Mighty Queens of Freeville by: Amy Dickinson

Exercise this:  your mind/body/soul with meditation

Avoid this:  negative facebook statuses ... no one wants to imagine cyber-tears: babies dont sleep, boys are stupid, jobs aren't fun, the weather is crappy ... we know. we can't change it.  so just stop.

Quote/lyric that fits the day: "When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." - Sophia Loren

Lexism of the Day: telling her "mama's tired" as i lay on the floor ... she runs over with a blanket while saying "awww" and lays down on me. 

OMG Moment: watching lexi eat bubbles while bathing and wondering, for a split second, if this was the beginning of weird stuff to come. like maybe one day she'd be on that TLC show where people are addicted to strange things like eating laundry detergent and sleeping with their blow dryer. 

Current Craving: decisiveness 

Try this:  calling someone and asking how they are without any intention of talking about yourself. aka: cut back on the me me me me me me. 

Read this: article about unemployed ppl being discriminated against

Avoid this: asking yourself why/what-if about things you know you can't go back and change.

Quote/lyric that fits the day: "You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings."

Lexism of the Day: recognizing/saying "purple"
OMG Moment: people going back on their word
Current Craving: temperature above zero
Try this:  using extra virgin olive oil on your/your baby's lips ... natural and works wonderfully! 
Read this: if you're expecting or a mama already or simply enjoy a memoir, read: "Rattled"
Exercise this: do some squats/toe raises/lunges/glute exercises while waiting for something to cook in the microwave or during commercial breaks (dont say you dont have time to fit in toning each day) :)
Avoid this: mayonnaise (i just dont like it and want to spread my dislike) 
Quote/lyric that fits the day: "How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."




PS. Happy Birthday Katie!

what is love, anyway?

love is ...


thinking outside the box

noticing the little things that make him/her smile

forgetting anyone else is in the room

pretending to like family guy even if you think it’s the dumbest show invented

having someone to always spill you guts and gossip to

trying new things together

honesty and respect

being each other’s biggest cheerleader

canceling plans if he/she needs you and not thinking twice about it

always having a date- whether it’s laying on the couch or a picnic by the sea

keeping promises

saying im sorry, meaning it and not repeating the mistake

playing nurse etc. if the other needs to stay in bed all day

enjoying nature together

being individuals but having the same values/priorities

showing not telling

surprises on any old day

getting out of bed in the night if he/she is thirsty 

not being afraid of telling the friends you’re busy with him/her

random inside jokes that no one else would get, but you’ll always remember 

showing affection in public without hesitation

adoring their 1001 body parts, regardless.

rushing through the day because you know bedtime is the only time you have together

remembering the great times when the rough patches hit

knowing that he/she makes you a better person.

Love ... is the reason we get out of bed every morning (whether we know it or not)

who surrounds you?

Five years ago, I learned that “home” isn’t necessarily a place, but a feeling. I was living in what most would refer to as “paradise.” The sun was always up, time seemed to slow down, palm trees danced in a way that stripped the stress from your soul ... even the warm rain was welcomed ... partly because it never lasted more than a few minutes, but mostly to remind us that nothing was perfect. Sort of a wet reality check. It was during those so-called reality checks when I realized that the weather and beautiful landscape didn’t make this place paradise. It was the people that surrounded me ... people from all over the world, from all different cultures and backgrounds. How could I live in the same place for 22 years and not experience this feeling until I moved 8,000 miles away? Complete strangers became roommates, coworkers, neighbors and most importantly, great friends. Best friends, in some cases. We called each other ‘family’ for a reason. I was puzzled and excited and mystified and thankful all at once. I love this island. It opened my eyes in a way that I had never fathomed. I knew it wasn’t a place I would forever spend my life, but it would certainly help shape my life from there on out. I learned what true friendship was ... I found that learning about different ways-of-life helps you not only better understand the world, but yourself as well. When you feel at home you imagine anything to be possible. And it is. No desire is too strong and no dream unattainable. 

When I left that “paradise,” I was fortunate enough to find another one that gave me the same feeling. Since then, however, I’ve inched my way toward the opposite end of the spectrum ... in mid-2008 I started using the term “home” very uncomfortably. I felt my happiness slip away and hated every moment of it. I’ve lived in two different “places” since 08 ... even bounced back-and-forth between ‘em for one reason or another ... I have to admit, at times, I did succumb to feeling just OK. It could be worse, people would say ... or, maybe you just need to give it time, others would chime in. I knew it could be worse. And, well, let’s be honest ... when you’re raising a baby, time flies ... so I gave it time without even realizing. Nothing changed. I love several different aspects of my life ... and am grateful and appreciative for those in it, but something is missing. Something has been missing for a while now ... and I know what it is. I’ve always known, but pushed it away at times ... worrying what others would think or worse: hurting their feelings ... I feared the obstacles that stood in the way, whether they were mental/physical/emotional/financial etc.  

I’ve listened to a lot of advice in the past couple of years, I stored a lot of it ... some I followed half-heartedly, some not at all. A few pieces of wisdom have always stuck out, however ... like: people don’t change ... do what makes you happy ... only you know what’s best. I think, in order to do what makes you happy ... you have to realize who in your life is a positive influence and who is not. When you release the negative energy from your life ... it leaves room for the important stuff. But you can’t do any of that until you’re ready-- people can give you the same advice every single day, but only you know how to best apply it (if at all). When you’re ready to make that decision ... you’ll know. 

And what I know, is that I want to find my “paradise” again. The feeling that inspires and brings out the best ME. 

Lexism of the Day: getting super excited/cheering when cousin kooper was shooting hoops (and making them all)
OMG Moment: lexi doing "Yoga"
Current Craving: Pizza (you'll probably see this one a lot)
Try this: send a hand-written letter to someone
Read this: Natural Health Magazine
Exercise this: Simple yoga moves
Avoid this: cliche valentine's day gifts like ... red roses. 
Quote/lyric that fits the day: "You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control." - Eat Pray Love

Lexism of the day: carrying a purse around saying: "bye-bye, bye babe"

OMG Moment: realizing someone put goldfish crackers in my tea this morning ... gross

Current craving: 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep (as if)

Try this: Adding BBQ sauce to your homemade beef stew ..

Read this:  "Weekends Away Without Leaving Home"

Exercise this: DWTS workout

Avoid this: 85% cacao dark chocolate EEK

Quote/lyric that fits the day: "Sometimes the cards we are dealt are not always fair; However, you must keep smiling & moving on"

Some like it hot and some ... get heartburn

You ever tried curing heartburn with Merlot? Well, don’t. The only time in my life I’ve ever had heartburn before tonight, was when I was pregnant ... and I don’t THINK I ever turned to wine for relief :) So anyway, I don’t keep Tums on hand now ... I figured the next best thing may be to “numb” it, right? I wish I could say someone actually suggested this remedy so I could blame them for the fire-pit-feeling I have going on in my chest ... I can’t even cite Google for this disaster. Just a little blonde moment, I suppose. Hey, lay off me ... at least I think outside the box. 

Speaking of, still trying to get used to Blogspot and all of their boxes and gadgets and tools ... so bare with my useless stories about spicy food until I can make this thing do what I want it to. 

In the meantime, you can expect the following every single day (unless it gets crappy feedback then I MIGHT stop). Just a little way to break up the monotony of it all (and, of course, channel my ADD) .. 

Lexism of the day: learning to say “Thick thighs” (thanks Nani)

OMG Moment: Lexi eating the bubbles from her dirty bath water-- and loving it.

Current craving: Sunshine & palms ... 

Try this: Edamame YUM

Read this: If You Give a Pig a Pancake 

Exercise this: ABS-- get a six pack  

Avoid this: chugging sugar free red bull

Quote/lyric that fits the day: “You and your heart shouldn’t feel so far apart.”

PS. Nearing the end of my first glass of wine and I must say, heartburn is gone-I guess I’m resourceful after all :) 

Welcome!

Out with the old and in with the new (I promise that to be one of very FEW cliches you read on here) ... I've ditched my old blog (MaMantra) and created this one. I felt confined by the other one ... like I had to write paragraphs of wonderful, witty and heartwarming stuff each day. I'm changing gears with Daydream Drain. You may get some of the old stuff ... but mostly, I just want a place to keep track of the random thoughts that consume my mind. You may get lists, quotes, daughter updates, rants, poetry, pictures ... whatever it is ... I hope it finds you well. I hope you visit often and share your own daydreams with me.